Lately I have been so down on myself and my life! I blame it on the blogging world and facebook! haha actually there are lots of other things too but they don't need to be mentioned. I hate when I've had a hard day and I get on the computer and read someones blog or facebook status that says how wonderful being a mom is and how everyday is a blessing and their little ones are the most perfect human beings in the world. I'm not gonna lie I really enjoy being a mom and Koleman is pretty much as perfect as they get, but it is HARD!!! Some days I would like to give Koleman away to the old lady at the thrift store or some very willing hands in my ward and get a full time job, come home at nights and be able to do whatever I want! Yep pretty sure I need an attitude adjustment!! and that I got!
There was a wonderful woman in Enterprise who just recently passed away, Joann Holt. I went to her funeral hoping to not leave to depressed seeing how she is the 3rd woman my mom's age who has died driving that road between St.George and Enterprise in the past year (because of this I tied my mom up and she isn't allowed to drive anywhere anymore) anyways instead I left feeling so motivated to be a better mom and wife and completely ready to tackle my role in life!! Her kids talked about how she made the best lunches because that's the one thing a husband and kids have to look forward to in their day, she got hobbies that helped make her home a better place (canning and gardening), everyday was spent inside her home teaching her kids right from wrong and making her house a home!
I came home and have made dinner for Trevor every night (seriously the guy is going from 6 am to 7 pm it's the least I can do. I play with Koleman and try to teach him things instead of sitting on the couch watching tv while he plays, and this summer I'm gonna try growing a few things and see what I can make of them, should be interesting! With that I'm going to start sewing more and doing craft things that will make my home a cuter place! haha :)
The other day I had to go into work, this only happens like every other month just when my aunt needs a receptionist at her title office. anyways I dropped Koleman off at the Shafers 5 hrs later went and picked him up came home and crashed! I got an overwhelming feeling later that night of how blessed I am to be able to stay at home each day with my baby. Yeah I do hair now and then but he is usually at my feet the entire time I'm doing a weave! I love that I haven't missed any of his big milestones and I get to be there for every meltdown he has to comfort him!
I was reading an article my relief society president had given me about being a homemaker and this lady back in the olden time days had to fight off snakes, spiders and shew the fly's away from her baby while he was sleeping. Yeah my life isn't that bad, but it still is hard in it's own way. I've learned now to embrace my role as a mom! Being a mom and wife will NEVER be easy but it def can be better than I've been making it in the past!! I love my Kolemers and Trevy Ky and wouldn't trade them for anything in this world!! (well some days I might, but not today)
10 comments:
I love this post. Seriously. Not in a weird way either haha. I don't even have a baby yet but I've had a huge change in my life and a hard time adjusting to it and I've been really down for like the last month. When you go through this you feel like you're the only one whoever feels like that and that makes me feel like a shmuck for sure. I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
I've made goals as well to accomplish things that I know will make me happy to help me get back on track!
Lashel, I've been going through this same thing lately!! One day I looked at the way I was living and wasn't happy with it at all! I went through this crazy stage of depression where I seriously sat on the computer ALL day and just let Elsie do whatever (I feel horrible for it now) poor Justin would come home to a messy house and have to wait for me to get off my lazy butt and make something for us to eat. And then...he would listen to me pout about the dumbest things! But...in a way I'm sure it's good for us to go through these phases so that we can always look back and remember how we don't want to be like that! I've made the same goals as you, I'm going to be buying a sewing machine (you'll have to teach me how to sew!! haha)
Remember, your still an awesome mom and wife!
HaHa! this cracks me up, and so does Stefs comment! We need to all start a club or something..I to Know Exactly how your feeling...Just LAST NIGHT When Rye got home I bursted into tears and actually told him that I HATED being a house wife! (I actually admitted it).....Good thing we love these dang kids of our so much!! =)
I have days like this too. I tried to feel grateful and not take things for granted. It is hard sometimes to be a mom and do the same routine over and over again and not have the freedom you use to have... but I just have to remember that it's just a different kind of fun you have now. Like watching your kids faces light up when they get excited or when all they want is you. Thanks for posting this, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way at times :)
thank you for making me feel better! this past couple weeks have been rough with a screaming teething baby and way too many people telling me how EASY it is to be a stay at home mom and how i'm sooo lucky that i can do whatever i wan t and just sit around all day when they have to go to work. I'm so sick of it! Seriously i love being a mom and i'm so glad i havent missed a moment of hayden's life but being a full time mom is way harder than any other full time job and it is NOT all sunshine and butterflies. What we're doing is something to be proud of!
Lashel, Maybe it is something about it being a new year and all of us mom's have wanted to be better and set new goals. Brady and I were just talking about this today. I am going to write down all of my goals on how I need/want to be a better mommy and wife. It is hard to get out of a lazy rut sometimes. I for one have a hard time even wanting to get dressed in the morning- and most days do not. I know you are an AMAZING mom and wife. I think sometimes we are too hard on ourselves on what we can realistically do. Thanks for the insight and the motivation to be better also.
Loves.
Loved this post Shel!! After that funeral all I could think was what an amazing woman. made me want to be better and try harder. I look up to ya girl, and i know that husband and cute little boy of yours do too! love ya!
Lashel I love you so much and you are an AMAZING woman, wife and mother! I admire you and your hard work to be such a great mommy and family really is our only calling in this life!
Amen sister!!!
LASHEL! Your post and Stef's comment hit the nail on the head for me. Sophie is a beautiful baby, and she is so good and hardly cries. But I have actually been pretty depressed lately and I haven't done much. I used to teach Sophie things all the time and now I watch t.v. while she plays. Curtis comes home to an empty house and makes himself dinner most of the time. He makes his own lunch everyday. I hate myself for it, but sometimes I don't know how to pick myself up out of bed. I feel like I should make so much more of myself and I don't know how to get there. But I do have to say I love being a housewife. When I actually do the work, I like housework better than most other things. You're not alone.
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